


I Kissed a Girl (and I liked it)

by carojane



Category: Glee
Genre: Bisexuality, Coming Out, Episode: s02e14 Blame It On the Alcohol, Homophobia, Spin the Bottle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carojane/pseuds/carojane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine Anderson realizes that coming out is a process. </p>
<p>Blaine's POV of his brief romance with Rachel Berry. It has nothing to do with Rachel Berry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Kissed a Girl (and I liked it)

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, despite probable need. My first fanfic, so please be gentle.

Blaine has not been having a good week when Kurt asks him to the party. 

He’s still reeling from Jeremiah’s rejection, and his friends have been ribbing him a little too hard about the whole fiasco. 

Hoping to rebound, he met up with an old flame for a little confidence building, but it just made him feel empty and somehow worse. 

Especially after the guy shot down his invitation to coffee, reminding Blaine that they weren't dating.

 

On top of this, his father is actually not away for business for once and his house feels a little too claustrophobic. 

During dinner, the conversation is stilted and as awkward as always. Through an air of obvious disinterest, he is grilled on his progress in school, his ranking in the fencing club, his social status.

When his father hints that his golfing partner’s daughter is such a nice girl, and Blaine’s age, too, Blaine reminds him that he is gay and really not interested. 

Instead of ignoring him as usual, Blaine’s father looks up at him with narrowed eyes and asks how he even knows. It’s common for teens to be confused, and he’s too young to be sure anyways.

 

Blaine’s been stewing in his indignation and self pity for a week by this point, so Kurt’s invitation to a party, where no one really knows him and he can just relax for one night, is heaven sent. 

Plus, this is another opportunity to spend time with Kurt outside of Warblers, which he’s really been enjoying lately.

 

The kids from New Directions turn out to be awesome. And he’s having an awesome time. Everything is just so totally awesome.

Okay, he knows that he’s had a bit much to drink, and he’s a lightweight to begin with, but he is really having a good time. 

He dances with Kurt's friends, singing loudly along with the Karaoke. They all seem to welcome him easily, though Kurt's brother seems a little reluctant despite all Blaine's attempts and compliments.

He knows that it's important that Kurt's friends like him, because they are important to him, so he drinks a little more to loosen up in hopes of impressing them.

 

He’s never played Spin the Bottle before, and figures there’s no harm once Puck gives a hurried peck to Artie’s lips over the laughs of everyone watching. The simple pecks don't cut it after that round, though.

He’s never kissed a girl before, so when he’s kissing Rachel on their turn, and its soft and sweet and he feels the definite stirrings of interest, he wonders about it just a little. 

 

The rest of the night is a bit blurry. 

He knows he sings, and maybe drinks another of Puck’s horrible cocktails but not much more. 

 

When he wakes, he disoriented and it takes a moment to realize where he is. 

He then remembers stumbling a short walk to Kurt's house, hanging off the other boy, and perhaps singing 'I feel Pretty'. 

He’s horribly embarrassed and apologizes profusely to Mr. Hummel and Mrs. Hummel-Hudson before walking with Kurt to Rachel’s house to get his car and driving home.

 

Of course, he runs into his father before he has a chance to hide in his bedroom or take a shower.

He must look horrible, and he knows the smell of sweat and alcohol cling to clothes, so he isn't surprised with the interrogation that follows. He rarely gets grounded, but he's not sure he hasn't pushed the limit this time.

Blaine tells his father he was at his friend Rachel’s house, that she had a party and that he ended up staying since it went so late. 

It’s a little white lie, leaving out Kurt’s name, but his father perks up at the girl’s name, so he goes with it. His father immediately asks him who she is, what she’s like. 

Instead of the disinterested stare Blaine's used to, his father is looking at him with real interest, so he tells his father about Rachel Berry, a girl he met through show choir.

When Blaine tells him that they sang a duet together, for the first time in what feels like forever his father tells him he has a great voice.

 

Over lunch, his father asks him more about the party and, more importantly, about Rachel. 

Blaine admits to the spin-the-bottle kiss with Rachel - that it was the first time he'd kissed a girl. His father asks if he likes her – if he felt butterflies. 

He answers he did a little and is blinded by the smile he gets in response. 

It makes his stomach sink.

Blaine tells his father for what feels like the millionth time that he is gay. Instead of ignoring him, his father asks him how he knows without trying to date a girl first. 

His father tells him that he’s still young and still figuring things out, before excusing himself to get ready for yet another business trip, leaving Blaine alone with his racing thoughts.

 

The next day, while getting a coffee with Kurt, Rachel calls to ask him out on a date. He doesn't know her well enough, but he suspects that she may be a bit tipsy from the way she sounds loose and giddy.

Honestly, he’s too surprised to say no, and too polite to turn her down on the phone, not even thinking about what Kurt might have to say about it.

He’s taken aback by Kurt’s reaction and quickly denies the accusation that he’s leading Rachel on. 

He was up late the night before thinking about his talk with his father, sure he’s gay, but hearing his father’s words “how do you know if you won’t try?” and wondering about bisexuality.

He's really not ready or able to talk about it, especially with Kurt, so he snaps angrily something about not being secure in his sexuality before comparing Kurt to his former bully and storming out. 

He feels ridiculous and regrets his words the moment he slams out of the coffee shop, but pride keeps him from turning around.

Also, he may be a bit of a drama queen.

 

He has a blast with Rachel on the date. They definitely have similar tastes, and they even randomly break out into song a few times. It doesn’t feel like any date he’s been on before, though he doesn’t have much experience in that regard, so he figures it’s just different dating girls. 

When he gets home, he calls his father and tells his voicemail that he went out on a date with Rachel and that it was nice.

He considers calling Kurt, but after their argument the day before, he's not really sure what he would say.

 

He’s surprised to see Rachel at the Lima Bean the next day when he goes in for his daily coffee, but goes with it when she kisses him right there while he's waiting in line.

It’s like a switch is flipped and all his racing thoughts are immediately silenced. 

He smiles at her and says, “Yep, I’m gay. One hundred percent gay. Thanks for clearing that up for me, Rachel.”

 

His heart is pounding as he excuses himself to the restrooms and pulls out his phone.

“Okay, dad,” he tells his father’s voicemail, “I tried it, and I’m done figuring it out. I’m gay. You need to realize that nothing is going to change my mind or change who I am. I’m never going to fall in love with a girl. If you can’t accept that about me, well, I guess you can’t accept me.” 

He presses the disconnect button and stares at the phone, breathing harshly for a minute.

 

Pulling out a smile from somewhere, he goes back out to the shop where he finds Kurt and Rachel exchanging show choir gossip at their usual table. 

He’s touched to realize that Kurt bought him a drink - remembering his usual order - and feels a real smile replacing the forced one. 

Rachel seems completely unfazed by what he belatedly realizes was a pretty harsh rejection, and the three teens fall into easy conversation about the Oscars.

 

He feels a little lighter after that phone call. 

He remembers reading somewhere that coming out is a process, but had never gotten what that meant until that moment. 

He feels the same elation that he felt the first time he told his father he was gay. He feels the same nervousness bordering on terror he had when telling Cooper or his friends in middle school. 

A few years ago, he came out and resolved not to worry what other people think. This is the day he finally expands his definition of “other people” to include his father.


End file.
